“I am not allowed to cry. I can show no fear. My job is to decide everything.” These are my charges as a man. This is the pressure on men. What do I do when I am sad? When I am afraid? When I don’t know what to do?
I am allowed to be happy, but that’s no fit. I am allowed to be angry. Yes, maybe that will be good enough. Ok. I’ll be angry. When I want to cry, I’ll be angry. When I am afraid, I’ll be angry. When I don’t know what to do, I’ll be angry.
Wait.
Violence is bad. That means being angry at other people is dangerous.
Where do I direct my anger? I think there is only one place left.
Or should I just cry in the dark?